cracks.

Week 33.

I've been feeling a bit cracked lately.  Broken.  Not fully functioning how I was meant to.  BUT.  I am learning that it is okay to be cracked sometimes.  Because that is how the Lord's grace seeps in...

Here are a couple authors who say what I mean better than I can:

"That which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond.  To Him.  To the God whom we endlessly crave."  -One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp

"As I seek to look at the world through the lens of grace, I realize that imperfection is the prerequisite for grace.  Light only gets in through the cracks... our wounds and defects are the very fissures through which grace might pass.  It is our human destiny on earth to be imperfect, incomplete, weak and mortal, and only by accepting that destiny can we escape the force of gravity and receive grace.  Only then can we grow close to God."  -What's So Amazing About Grace?, Philip Yancey

Or, as I recently heard in a sermon, God does not need us to heal our own wounds before we join Him in joyful service.  But it is precisely through joining the Lord in his work that he pours healing over us.  Pours his grace on us.  This has been such a freeing lesson for me to learn.  Because I am supposed to be the one ministering to others.  And I feel so inadequate and incapable to do so, because I still feel so cracked and broken. 

What good news it is that this cracked heart is in the exact right condition to receive grace!

One of my favorite sights in the world is the look of sunlight streaming through green tree leaves.  Of course, the view is improved while swinging a hammock.  It is the reason that green is my favorite color.  This lesson about grace and cracks gives a whole new the beauty of such a scene.  The leaves look like they glow with life, but only because of the light that streams in and around them... through the cracks between the leaves.

Goodness.... oh, that the Lord would make my life so beautiful......

taken at an ancient temple in Ayutthaya, Thailand.