harbor me.

Week 31.

So, I was doing some cleaning.  Removing things from my pictures and documents and inbox... just stuff I dont want to run into by accident anymore.  And of course, I got distracted looking through some of it.

And gosh...  how quickly do memories course the pain...  the confusion, uncertainty, regret...

And I was listening to a cd that I had just gotten in the mail from Aubrey.  And the next song came on:
"Lift me up from the ashes, of my hearts own shallow grave.  Spare my body from the wolves, God, that crouch down at my door.  Lift me up above the waters and the sharks that guard your shore.  I know that I need you... Harbor me in the eye of the storm, I’m holding on to love you swore..." 

The afternoon sky outside had been darkening, and finally the clouds opened up.  Lightning.  Thunder.  And tropical torrent.  I opened the doors and windows to let the cool wind blow through.
Tears fell.  Rain poured.  His grace falling from heaven.  And this little sheep felt so harbored.

And I grabbed my camera to capture the grace-moments of the storm.

decisions, decisions.

Week 30.

Obviously, I am not writing this blog post during the week to which it refers.  So to refresh my memory, I took a look back through my journal.  I journal nearly every night... mostly prayers, or wisdom I have come across, or Scripture that has stood out to me.

During this particular week, I was starting to pray about decisions.  "God, what do you want me to be when I grow up?"  You know, stuff like that.  But I found some good verses I wrote down.  Verses to live by.  Verses that I hope I will always live by, no matter if I have decisions to make or not.

    Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.  Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy?  Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food.  Incline your ear, and come to me; hear, that your soul may live; and I will make with you an everlasting covenant, my steadfast, sure love for David.
(Isaiah 55:1-3 ESV)


    As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.
(1 Timothy 6:17-19 ESV)

I still lots of decisions to make.  Good thing I still have the verses to pray through.  I also went to a football (soccer) game with my friend, Aom.

its not artsy.  but I did take it. clearly. ;) and I sure do love this girl.

Go Thammasat! :)

love actually. is. all around.

Week 29.

From time to time, I have the honor of giving the Bible study talk at our weekly Souper Tuesday event.  On Valentine's day, I talked about love (go figure).  I have decided to share my thoughts here...  (and yes, I did use the opening clip from Love Actually)

Love actually.  Is.  All around.

In families, in relationships, in disasters, in friendships, in strangers.  The Bible says that God IS love.  And anyone who knows love knows God.  God created all things and built love into the world because that is who he is:  Love.  To experience love is to experience a little piece of God-- a piece of himself that he chose to share with the world when he created it.

I believe, and the Bible teaches, that the beauty of Creation is an expression of God's love.  It is like an artist's signature... the very quality of a piece of work reveals who created it.  Beauty is Love.  And Love is God's signature.  And it is all around...

In the beauty of Thailand, in the smiles of Thailand, in waterfalls, in mountains, in trees, in deserts, in the sunrise, in the sunset, in the ocean, in flowers, in the stars, in animals, in people...

God loves this world.  God is in this world.  All around.

But the ultimate love of God-- where we see His Signature the most-- is in Jesus.

If all of creation is God's artwork, and love is His signature, Jesus is the masterpiece of all existence.
More than the beauty of relationships, more than the beauty of people, more than the animals, plants, stars, the earth...

Jesus is the greatest expression of beauty because Jesus expressed the greatest love:  not that we loved God first, but that God sent his Son to die so that we may experience true life.  The most beautiful life is life spent with God.

One way to spend life with God is to love other people.  True love finds its blessedness in blessing others-- in honor and in love, no matter what.  Is this not the same kind of love we see in mothers, lovers, volunteers, friends, givers?...  All of these people are willing to sacrifice something for the good of another.  All are willing to love like God, and in doing so, willing to experience God.

Another way to spend life with God is to meet Him in the beauty of his creation. Enter into awe of God's creation, enter into the Love of God.

Later in the week, we took 20 students on an overnight retreat to the beach.  It was rainy on the first day when we arrived, but the skies cleared and most of the night and the next day were sunny.  The theme of the retreat was essentially: once lost, now found.  Via the analogy of Finding Nemo.  It was good.  Trust me.

And the photo of the week?  It comes from the retreat.  A snapshot of the Lord's beauty.  A glimpse of God's great love-signature.

Yes.  I do believe it is true...

Love actually.  Is.  All around

God actually.  Is.  All around.

RUNBKK.

Week 28.

Yeah, so I ran a half marathon.  It was hot and hard... and kind of less exciting than I had hoped, honestly.  I somehow went the wrong way at the end and had to turn around and go back.  Then I couldn't figure out how to get back on track, so I wound up taking a different route to the finish line.  I think(?) I ran 13.1 miles.... but I guess I can't be sure.  Also, it turns out that I run the exact same pace as 50 year old Thai men, because those are the only people I saw around me the whole race.  But don't get me wrong-- I am certainly glad that I did it.  Anyway, I wrote a much more inspiring blog about it on come awake, if you are interested.

I don't have a running armband, so I hold my phone in my hand while I run so I can listen to music.  Which also (conveniently) enables me to take pictures while I'm running.  Here is one from the race, as I was running over a suspension bridge at about 6 a.m....

give me Jesus.

Week 27.

In the morning when I rise.
When I am alone.
When I come to die.

I tend to listen to songs on repeat.  A song that speaks to whatever season of the soul that I am in.  Lately?  Give me Jesus.  Sung by the sweet sweet voice of Joelle May.  What I am learning more and more, what I am trying so hard to remember in each moment, what I cling to in the dark-- there is no one but Jesus.  There is nothing more important than Jesus.  Nothing more life-giving, nothing more freeing, nothing more healing than to know and trust and seek Jesus Christ.

My constant prayer:  Lord, let all else fade away.  Let all else be swallowed up and dissolved by simply knowing you.  Simply being with you, Jesus.

There is a reason we were meant to live in light...  Because freedom comes when we are unable to hide.  Sometimes the light is bright-- too bright.  It hurts the eyes, hurts the heart.  But if I can stand in it, abide in the light just long enough, I will eventually see Jesus.

in between clouds.

[I did not take any photos this week, so I chose this old one that I took with my iPhone on a flight to South Carolina.  I love love love the light.  It is the header photo on my other blog.]